So here it is: 12 DAYS till departure, and my perception of time wobbles - between an impatience originating from fluttering over lengthy mental "To Do" lists, and the conflicting desire to slow the world down to seize every minute with family and friends. It's hard to believe that I'll soon be almost halfway across the globe, so far away from home and Willamette. I will miss everyone, but while The Proclaimers may have been able to walk 500 miles, and 500 miles more, I think it would be a little unfair to ask anyone to follow me to Africa. ;)
Although I really don't mind such isolation too much...at least not yet. While unsure of what to expect, I'm not fearful. I know I'm strong. I'm capable. I'm stubbornly independent, and I know that if I set my mind on something and work hard, I can transform this incredibly unique experience/opportunity into a life-changing event. And that's exciting! As Henry Miller wrote, "One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things." I predict not only a new, perhaps wiser way, of viewing the world, but an assessment of my own identity and moral convictions. Being alone will certainly be a challenge, especially with my slight tendency towards extroversion. The severe learning curve at my internship will be another (cramming Zimbabwean politics in the air is guaranteed). But challenges are meant to teach you, change you. Thus, I want to feel Zimbabwe. Breathe it in. Touch it. Live it. I want to know Harare like the back of my hand by the time I leave.
Of course, such semi-romanticized notions could immediately become snuffed the minute I step off the plane in Harare, labeled by my "Secret" clearance, and strictly regulated by security measures. Representing the U.S. government, I aware that my experience will not be one of a tourist. I still don't know about my freedom of movement. But I vow to do my best in discovering and experiencing as much as possible, while best and responsibly serving my country.
Wow, serving my country. Here goes the first step in a life-long career. I can't help but wonder though: what if it turns out that I disagree with the implementation of U.S. foreign policy?? What if my moral code objects to political realities? My friends always say that I don't have the optimal cut-throat nature of a good politician. However, I do know I have a spine, and I hope it's seriously tested, that I am left in a quandary causing me to make difficult choices - a skill in which I terribly need practice. When you want peace, you have to do more than shout to make the world listen. It's ironic really. Anyways, O can't wait to walk through the door of the U.S. Embassy!! Bring it on.
