Sprawled out across my bed in the usual fashion, staring up at the pink, purple and ballerina laden walls of my room. Glancing over to the running shorts draped across my precious fan. Absentmindedly scratching the oodles of swollen angry bug bites on my left arm. Lazily tugging the messy bun of blonde hair free, and watching it coil playfully around my sweaty face and neck in the mirror. Making a funny face or two. These are the quiet hours I savor in my day. I quite literally do nothing. :)
And then, there's my Arabic I class, which in all reality is loud, chaotic, challenging, and also SO FUN.
coverphoto
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Path to Peace in the Middle East?
Positioned between a "Iraq and a hard place," Jordan's King Abdullah II articulates the complexity of the Israel-Palestinian conflict, and the role the United States should play in the future. A MUST WATCH.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Exclusive - King Abdullah II of Jordan Extended Interview | ||||
| ||||
Friday, September 24, 2010
Keeping on the sunnyside :)
Today was a good day. I've been doing some thinking, and I've come to a consensus with myself. Mainly, I've decided that it's not enough for me to just "make it through" the next few months. As I've seen with people trying to overcome poverty day-to-day in Harare, survival leaves little time for enjoying life, pursuing opportunities, or putting their best of themselves forward in the world. Of course, given this context, I must also remember that the challenges I'm facing are relatively trivial. My fortune of studying abroad is perhaps something that someone somewhere has only been able to dream about. To discard its significance is to be callously selfish, and I refuse to be that way. Since I made the choice to be here in Jordan, I'm going to be physically, mentally, and emotionally with it. I'm going to plug myself into this place, stop thinking about what I miss/wish/want, and appreciate what is HERE and NOW. I'm ready to get over this weird totally out-of-character wallowing phase. I'm ready to restart. I'm ready to positively coach myself through whatever comes my way. And what's better, I know that I can do it, and that I've always been able to do it! All it takes is a different frame of mind. I'm adjusting my attitude today.
And yeah, I already know that things may not get any easier or comfortable...but that's the joy of being somewhere else!
As Lebanese philosopher Kahlil Gibran once wrote, "Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you, as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you, as by the way your mind looks at what happens."
He is indeed a wise man.
And now a closing song for those who need something catchy to hum during class or in the shower. I can't help but smile :)
And yeah, I already know that things may not get any easier or comfortable...but that's the joy of being somewhere else!
As Lebanese philosopher Kahlil Gibran once wrote, "Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you, as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you, as by the way your mind looks at what happens."
He is indeed a wise man.
And now a closing song for those who need something catchy to hum during class or in the shower. I can't help but smile :)
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Back to Basics.
Considering the frame of mind in which I closed my last entry, I decided to reassess the meaning of life... JUST KIDDING, haha! Nope, instead I turned to my favorite and most trusted teacher, Dr. Seuss. So of course, in addition giving me an apt direction for this blog, I find inspiration in the children's poem that started it all. Read, relive, and enjoy!
Oh! The Places You'll Go! -- Dr. Seuss
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
You’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do,
To people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true
That Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…
Or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
For a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start to race down,
Long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
And grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
Headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come,
Or a plane to go or the mail to come,
Or the rain to go or the phone to ring,
Or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No
Or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite,
Or waiting for wind to fly a kite
Or waiting around for Friday night
Or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake,
Or a pot to boil,
Or a Better Break
Or a string of pearls,
Or a pair of pants or a wig with curls,
Or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting...
NO! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball,
Will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
With the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
You’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
That can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul.
On you will go though your enemies prowl.
On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many a frightening creek,
Though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike.
And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact
And remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby
Or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea
You’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
Oh! The Places You'll Go! -- Dr. Seuss
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
You’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do,
To people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true
That Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…
Or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
For a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start to race down,
Long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
And grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
Headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come,
Or a plane to go or the mail to come,
Or the rain to go or the phone to ring,
Or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No
Or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite,
Or waiting for wind to fly a kite
Or waiting around for Friday night
Or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake,
Or a pot to boil,
Or a Better Break
Or a string of pearls,
Or a pair of pants or a wig with curls,
Or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting...
NO! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball,
Will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
With the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
You’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
That can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul.
On you will go though your enemies prowl.
On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many a frightening creek,
Though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike.
And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact
And remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby
Or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea
You’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
What was I thinking?!
I honestly don’t even know where to start. A mess of contradicting thoughts and feelings swirl around in my brain, screaming, whispering, winking, scolding, spluttering, and sighing. I suddenly feel confused and frustrated about where I am and what I’m doing. Why am I here? What made me think that this was a good idea? How did youthful notions of indestructibility cater to waving off the 7 months of hobbit-hood so nonchalantly? Everyday I fight the seed of unhappiness that threatens to take root in my heart and mind. Deep down I know I love what I’m doing, that I do best under pressure, that it wasn’t until recently that I began to feel stressed, and that making myself uncomfortable like this is an incredibly effective form of learning. I also know that while I would love to go home, see my smiling friends, and get hugs from mom and pop, I wouldn’t be content with quitting, with settling because I’m just so plain worn-out, and exhausted. Did you get that?! I’m effing TIRED. Tired because of such dramatic cultural differences that I can’t be myself, having to assimilate into social norms, second-guessing every movement, every outfit, and every smile, that because of the language barrier I am completely ignorant of what people are saying around me. It makes me feel vulnerable. Isolated. Lonesome.
And THAT I think is a key realization: that without being surrounded by people I love and that love me, I’m not completely happy. That I must be hugged everyday. I am sustained only so far by my own life, and must take joy in sharing and celebrating with my friends and family…with people that actually KNOW me. There are many professionals who can put aside love for careers…I’m not sure I’m one of them. That doesn’t mean I lose sight of my goals…just find a compromise.
In any case, to get back where I started this thought process, I know every person at some point goes through what I'm going through now.
I know it's normal.
But DAMN. I hate admitting it!
Despite all that I've seen and experienced over the last few months in Zimbabwe, I think these feelings of uncertainty have fostered contradicting desires. And that has completely suprised me...
I didn't really think I'd need home. I didn't really think I'd need my friends. I pretty much figured I'd depend soley on myself, push myself and challenge the strength of my character/resolve to last the 6 months away from all that is familiar. What hurts can make you stronger, right?
But of course, this just goes to show that just when you think you know who you are, what you want, and where you're going, you are reminded of how fallible you truly are.
And THAT I think is a key realization: that without being surrounded by people I love and that love me, I’m not completely happy. That I must be hugged everyday. I am sustained only so far by my own life, and must take joy in sharing and celebrating with my friends and family…with people that actually KNOW me. There are many professionals who can put aside love for careers…I’m not sure I’m one of them. That doesn’t mean I lose sight of my goals…just find a compromise.
In any case, to get back where I started this thought process, I know every person at some point goes through what I'm going through now.
I know it's normal.
But DAMN. I hate admitting it!
Despite all that I've seen and experienced over the last few months in Zimbabwe, I think these feelings of uncertainty have fostered contradicting desires. And that has completely suprised me...
I didn't really think I'd need home. I didn't really think I'd need my friends. I pretty much figured I'd depend soley on myself, push myself and challenge the strength of my character/resolve to last the 6 months away from all that is familiar. What hurts can make you stronger, right?
But of course, this just goes to show that just when you think you know who you are, what you want, and where you're going, you are reminded of how fallible you truly are.
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