Midnight Musings

I think I need to split my personality into a million pieces. Then maybe I could actually polish each little orb until it glows indefinitely without needing any more help from me. I mean, isn't that the purpose of life? To leave your legacy to the welfare of someone else when you're dead? And I don't mean strictly fame. Obviously fame (or infamy) have gotten people well establish post-mortem within the public memory.

But I'm talking of something else.

I any guess what I'm trying to express is that I'm just really trying to figure out how to make my life meaningful, in the long run. I find that it's easy to get caught up in daily stressors & anxieties, "wins" and "losses" while moving between life stages, and closing old chapters - but I feel I'm someone who finds her own worth in contributing to the wellbeing of others. And I've been struggling with the fact that politics overall seems increasingly inadequate in addressing universal social ills. I'm not saying that politics doesn't have the potential to change social ills - the potential DOES exist (and such potential is the main structure that keeps my enduring idealism standing). It's just that, when I'm confronted with issues of globalization, poverty, and the role of international institutions, there are so many factors to consider that it's somewhat overwhelming. For example, while neoliberal trade policies and privatization have proven detrimental to advancing South American nations, the same policies are claimed to be crucial for sub-Saharan Africa by improving infrastructure and long term corporate investment. However, then you read up on articles regarding the trade of blood diamonds or the creation of cheap labor markets and you realize how limited public awareness is: (1) partly by choice (as consumers we don't necessarily want to know the consequences our luxuries have upon the degradation of other human beings - take Nike for example who provides non-livable wages to thousands of workers overseas so that we can sweat in name-brand clothing), and (2) sheer ignorance in part due to mass misinformation and marketing schemes.

It's hardball on the world stage. Israel just alienated Turkey, one of its only allies in the Middle East, when it raided an aid flotilla in international waters. Iran is rapidly approaching the final stages of development for its nuclear program. The Gulf of Mexico is being consumed by an oil slick hundreds of miles long due to the greed of oil execs and costing the poorest Americans their livelihood. Haiti, no longer a selling sensationalist story, has been forgotten. It's time that we all recognize our continual gullibilities, our desire for maintaining the status quo, and instead demand accountability.

So here I am, committing my life to a career in politics by appealing to an old cliche and a system that begs every catalyzed individual to "change the world." Take direct action, everyday. Do no harm. Help people live sustainably and healthfully. Aid in the pursuit of dreams. Make the difference to one individual's success. Acknowledge the privilege of growing up as a white, middle class female in the United States. And also, recognize that much of what we find valuable or beautiful is often cruel - everything from a fiery sunset, incensed by pollution, to a well made pair of running shoes crafted by third world wage slaves, are romanticized in order for us to luxuriously detach from the pains of reality.

Thus, to be truly fulfilled is to become an ally to those who struggle against universal forms of oppression.

What career such objectives translate into I have yet to find out...