A Woman Alone

It never ceases to amaze me how surprised people are when they discover that I am traveling alone, whether internationally or even within the United States.

Fortunately though, I often find that my seeming "loneliness" opens many special doors throughout the world. In Jordan or Lebanon, it means getting invited into the sacred space of someone's home to meet their family, and sip on delicate cups of "shai wa nana" while nibbling on mamoul (or if you're reallyyyy lucky baklava or knafa!). In Croatia, it can even get you a drink or two on the house from a pitying bartender.

On the otherhand, announcing your "aloneness" (I do not use the word "loneliness" on purpose) aloud and without timidity can also cause flickers of confusion to dart across the faces of curious inquirers. "You mean you chose to travel by yourself?" their eyes challenge. But why???

"I'm having a great time... ALL BY MYSELF"  -- acquired at the Museum of Broken Relationships, Zagreb, Croatia

To help explain this, I return to one of my favorite YouTube videos titled, "How to Be Alone" (as shown below). As the short expose illuminates, learning how to be alone can be one of the most difficult but important life skills that one can achieve, especially in an increasingly connected world where two to three degrees of separation is all that exists between you and members of your local community. 

But like any skill, being alone takes practice. You have to work on it in order to feel more comfortable with it. 

I travel alone for the freedom of letting my feet wander: of choosing my own destinations, allowing myself to get "lost" along the way, and understanding how to best keep myself company. "Lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless," the narrator mentions, highlighting its ability to unburden oneself from the boredom of routine or the pressure of public image and social cues. For example, what's the longest amount of time that you've refrained from speaking? Five minutes? An hour? Try going a whole day. When you're alone, you allow yourself to get inside your head more than usual. You give yourself the time for self-reflection. Once you get accustomed to the immediate differences that occur when leaving friends and social obligations behind, flyin' solo (as I fondly refer to it) is something that one adjusts to naturally. 

Besides, even if you feel like you're traveling alone, you are of course never completely alone. Just turn to the nearest human-being next to you and invite them out for a coffee. :)